Hi. This is my first fic. It probably isn’t very good but give me a little credit. I will try to recreate Takahashi-samas humor but I give no guarantee. This idea has been used and I’d like to thank whoever came up with it first. Also, these characters aren’t mine and I claim no custody of them. Places as well. Anyway, here goes nothing. Enjoy! Oops! And the three goddesses, Din, Nayru, and Farore, are property of Nintendo. Link too.
A Wrongful Wish
Ranma stormed in the dojo rubbing the growing, egg sized lump on his head.
"I’m home!" he called out. When no one answered he stomped up to his room and slammed his door. "Stupid tomboy." He mumbled. "How can she be so un-cute? All I did was say Ucchans cooking was good…" He slumped down on his futon and plopped his head in his hands. "Why?" he muttered.
The front door slammed, shaking the windows in the house. Akane he guessed. He didn’t bother to get up to listen…she was loud enough to hear from here. "I can't believe that…jerk!" she shouted. Ranma guessed that someone else was talking because there was a pause. "What did he do? He hit on Ukyou. That’s what." More silence. "I don’t care. She might be his friend but I…I…" Ranmas interest peaked.
"She’s probably in her room lifting weights." He grumbled. "How kawaiikune can you get?" He lay back on his pillow and stared at the stars. "Some times I wish I’d never even come here." With that he fell asleep.
The goddess looked down on the sleeping boy in fascination. Only hours ago he was content with his life and now he was wishing that he had never come here. "I would never have guessed." One of them, Farore, said.
"What?" Another one said. Her name was Din.
"That boy, Ranma is wishing for another life." Farore replied.
"No he isn't." The third, Nayru, stated.
"Yes he is." Farore practically shouted. "Look." The other two goddesses looked at the image of Ranma mumbling on his bed. "See."
"No," Nayru countered. "He wished he had never gone to the dojo."
Farore looked at her feet. "Got me there. But he did say 'I wish'. And it's about time for his."
"Yeah yeah. Hold on a sec." Din said, as she ran over to a corner of their room. "No! Not your sword! Use my fire, my fire! All right!!"
"What was that all about?" Nayru asked.
"Link was being stupid again." She waved her hand in the air. "Let's get on with the wish."
The three women linked hands facing away from each other and raised them. "By our power, give this boy his wish." They said in unison. A flash of light shot out of the circle and streaked toward Nerima, and a very unaware Ranma.
"Now," Farore grinned devilishly, rubbing her hands. "What about the authors wish?"
"What wish." Nayru asked.
"The one where he wished he was an original Ranma character?" Din asked. Farore nodded. "Well hold on, I'm hungry."
"I love you Ranma." Akane said. She wrapped her arms around his waist and set her head on his chest. He ran his hand through her hair. "I love you too, Akane." She looked into his eyes and their faces inched closer until…Akane began shaking him violently.
"Wake up!" she shouted. She sounded alarmingly like Shampoo. "Wake up stupid! Wake up!"
His eyes slowly opened and he saw Shampoo stand back. "Oh. Only Shampoo." He rolled over and then sprang out of the bed. "Shampoo? What are you doing here?"
"I live here stupid. Have dignity." She glared and threw his clothes at him. Ranma realized that it was a little breezy and quickly put his familiar black pants and red silk shirt on. "Now you dressed you do house work." She threw an apron at him.
Shampoo glowered at him. "Are you deaf? Do house work. Cook clean." She shouted. "No wonder Shampoo beat husband. He stupid and weak."
Now it was Ranmas turn to get angry. "What?!" he roared.
Shampoo smiled. "Shampoo challenge you and panda and win. Panda run away but Shampoo easily beat you. Then find out you man and we marry." Her look of ecstasy melted into one of shame and disgust. "But you wea…" She stopped when she noticed Ranmas glow.
Shampoo forgot her fear and began laughing hysterically. "We chase him but he get away in panda form." She wiped a tear from her eyes before laughing again. "Was very funny." She stopped laughing when she saw Ranmas glow come back, five times greater.
"Figures." Ranma growled, clenching his fists. "When I get my hands on him…" He turned toward the door but found Shampoos bonbori blocking him. "Uh…excuse me?"
"No leave." She snarled. (My how our moods change.) "Do house work like good husband."
"No." Ranma said as he threw the apron down.
Shampoo attacked without warning but her bonbori glided through the air, but missing Ranma, reduced a nearby table to splinters instead. She whirled around and swung again but felt her feet leave the ground and her rear meet it. She stood and swung again with the same results. She hopped to her feet and glared daggers at Ranma. Just yesterday he did nothing more but stand there and now he was mopping the floor with her. And she could feel him pull his punches. She decided on lunging one last time. "You die now!" she shrieked.
Ranma saw the hole in her attack and decided to take advantage of it. He threw a quick amagurikan sending Shampoo to the floor unconscious. "I'm sorry Shampoo." He said. He opened the door and stepped outside.
Cologne was happy. Happy with her self. Happy for Shampoo. Happy at life in general. Shampoo finally found a husband and that meant that she didn’t have to take care of her anymore. She had a lowly man to do it for her. Plus Mousse would have to leave Shampoo alone. The day before went well too. The guide brought the two Japanese men in to the village just like she'd instructed him to. But the fat one got away. He would have made a good servant. Oh well.
She debated on whether or not to check up on Shampoo and Son-in-law. The fought a lot last night…wait. Shampoo fought, son-in-law was beaten. She thought.
'Thump' 'Thud'. Cologne ignored the noises. The sounds came so often last night that everyone overlooked them. Her ears perked when she heard son-in-law shout something vaguely familiar. "What was that…" she wondered aloud. She heard another muffled thump and Ranma stepped out the door with a scowl on his face. She knew that they had been fighting but her Shampoo always won. Ranma didn’t even look harmed much less even tired. She decided to play ignorant. She sneaked up behind him, "Hello son-in-law." She said.
Ranma jumped and spun around. "Oh…uh…hi!" He was visibly sweating.
Cologne smiled. "How is your wife?" she asked.
Ranma began sweating buckets. He knew that Cologne could tear him apart if she wanted to. "She…um…uh…" he stammered intelligently.
"Mind if I check on her?" she asked and walked in with out an answer. "Thanks."
Ranmas mind told him to haul butt out of there and he didn’t hesitate. He knew that Cologne would be furious when she found Shampoo. He would have to fight his way out. After that he would run…
"Ranma!" Cologne bellowed from inside. Ranmas instincts took over and he sprinted toward the gate. He saw a woman throw a pail of water out her door and Ranma was heading straight for it. As he plowed through it he was grateful for the extra speed and the disguise it offered.
Cologne set Shampoos unconscious form on the ground and glared at Ranma. "Get her!" she shouted. Instantly a horde of very angry and heavily armed (swords spears and other various weapons of pain) women were chasing after the red head. Ranma panicked her hands in the Takahashi gesture of shock and bolted. She pounded the gate and its guards with a quick Moko Takabisha, and continued running.
When she stopped to catch her breath she recognized where she was. Jusenkyo. She shuddered remembering her fateful dip in a spring. But she was here now and that meant…she headed toward the guide's hut and knocked on the door. "Hello?"
The guide looked quite surprised to see her. So surprised that he forgot to speak Japanese. He caught himself soon enough and tried to act calm. "Oh! Y-young miss…sir. How can help you?"
Ranmas suspicion was aroused. "I need to get to the Nannichuan. Can you show me to it?"
The guide nodded a little hastily and left the hut with Ranma in tow. They finally reached the spring and Ranma jumped in…and cane out still female. "N-no!" she shouted, slumping to the ground, sobbing. Now she knew that there was no cure.
After the guide jotted something on a pad of paper he set a hand on Ranmas shoulder. He felt bad about betraying this boy…er…girl…person to the amazons. He would help him. "I so sorry. No know it no work. Can I do something for you?"
Ranma stood up and wiped the tears from her eyes. She didn’t care that guys weren't supposed to cry. She wasn’t a guy right now. She had no cure for her curse. But she remembered something. Akane. She could start over. "C-can you get me to Japan?" she asked hopefully. "And some hot water?" She mentally kicked herself for making that wish.
The guide smiled. "No problem."
People were staring at the large panda lumbering down the street. A panda loose in the city? "Mommy mommy look." The little girl said as she tugged on her mothers' arm.
"Yes dea…oh my god!" her mother replied as she picked up her laughing daughter. "After I call the zoo we're leaving."
The panda couldn’t help but overhear this and shook his head in dismay.
His wandering eventually brought him to a very large stone wall.
The girl in the yard noticed him and came up. "Can I help you?" she asked. (Guess who?) The panda began to growl and growf. The girl stopped him. "I'm sorry but I don’t speak panda."
The panda seemed to get an idea and pulled a sign out from nowhere and began to scribble on it. He held it up when he was done. [My name is Genma Saotome. I'm here…] flip […to see Soun Tendo.]
The girl smiled pleasantly. "Oh my. What a smart panda." Genma face faulted. "I'm Kasumi. Fathers inside." She led him into the dining room and sat him down. "One minute please." She left and went into the dojo where Soun was bawling as usual. Akane was smashing bricks in a corner of the dojo muttering unprintable words. "Father?"
"Yes Kasumi?" he bawled.
"Your guest is here." She said. Soun stopped crying tears of happiness and began to cry tears of Joy.
Genma looked up and saw his friend prance into the room then freeze. Genma hopped up and gathered the man in an embrace. "Help!" Soun shouted. "He's trying to eat me! Help!"
For the second time that day the panda face faulted. [Get me some hot water please] he signed. Soun crept into the kitchen, to afraid to disobey a smart (Bwa hahahahaha) panda, while Kasumi was trying to explain something to him. When they finally got there he grabbed his daughter by the shoulders. "Kasumi. Go get your sisters and meet me out front." "But father…" "After I call animal control…" "Father…" "…I'll lock the doors…" "Father!!" Soun stopped yammering and listened. Kasumi didn’t yell like that for anything.
Kasumis smile was back rather quickly. "Father, that panda's name is Genma Saotome."
Soun began bawling again and ran back out into the dining room while Kasumi got the hot water. Soun wrapped his arms around the fat animal. "Saotome! It's so good to see you." He broke the embrace. "But you’ve aged terribly."
The panda face faulted again, as Kasumi poured the hot water on him. "Oh my." She said at his change. "Thank you Kasumi. Now Tendo…Tendo?" Genma noticed that the man was in shock. He slapped the thinner man a few times. "Tendo! Snap out of it."
Soun shook his head. "Wha…" he said intelligently.
"I was about to explain that." Genma started his story of how his son got lucky and knocked him into the pool and such but left out the fact that Ranma was still in china. "And that is why I change." He finished after a few demonstrations.
Soun was overjoyed. "Kasumi, go get your sisters. I have a surprise for you." Then he turned to Genma. "Where is the young lad?" "Tendo…" "I cant wait to meet him." "Tendo he isnt here." Soun stopped babbling and stared at genma. "Care to run that by me again Saotome?"
Genma found the floor suddenly very interesting. "Um…he…um…he's still in china."
"What!?" Soun grew his Demon Head as his daughters walked in to the room. "How could you Saotome?! In your postcard…"
"Daddy, were here." Kasumi said. Akane and Nabiki were hiding behind her. "What was your surprise?"
Souns anger deflated and he began to sob. "I have none daughter." He looked at Genma who was on the verge of tears him self. "What happened to your boy?"
Genma burst out in tears. "He was defeated by a girl in china and then Married her…"
Soun paled. "Married? He was supposed to marry one of my daughters…" He then was distracted by a faint blue glow. "A-Akane?"
"You mean that you were going to give one of us to someone we don’t even know?" Akane growled, her gi tinted blue from her aura.
"Well…" Soun began, "Not really…" the girls looked releaved. "Two of you if I could…"
"What!!!" the three girls bellowed in unison. The two middle-aged men knew their day was far from over.
Ranma was tired, dirty and otherwise very peeved. After the guide helped her get to a boat, he disappeared leaving Ranma to the sailors. The women deprived men ended up in the infirmary at least three times a day. Needless to say she didn’t get any sleep until she revealed that she was really a guy. Still some of them…we wont get into that. Immediately after getting off the boat she had been splashed by a woman throwing mop water out her door. (What is it with mop water?) Then to top it all off she ran into Ryoga. After Ranma threw him into a fountain, expecting a small piglet come out, she was mildly surprised when a black hared girl did instead. She thought back to the incident…
"Ranma die!!!" Ryoga bellowed as he sprung at the aforementioned boy.
Ranma turned, and looked happy, much to Ryogas chagrin, to see a familiar face. "Yo, P-chan! What's up?" he said while casually stepping out of the way. Ryogas umbrella shattered the concrete where he was a moment ago.
"Don’t call me that!" he yelled. "I'm going to kill you for what you put me through!" He struck the ground again.
"And what might that be?" Ranma asked sarcastically.
"You put me through hell!" Ryoga shouted, his strikes becoming more frantic. "Stop dodging! You're supposed to suck!"
Ranma almost laughed as he tossed Ryoga into the near by fountain. "Well good bye P-chan. Have fun porking around."
He got a good fifty yards away when a distinctly female voice shouted. "What's that supposed to mean?" Ranma turned around and saw a very good-looking girl standing, dripping wet, in the fountain. Wearing Ryogas clothes. P-chan he could deal with, but Ryoga-chan. No. He turned and ran Ryoga in hot pursuit. After oh…ten seconds of running Ranma heard her shout, "Where the hell am I now?"
…and was very happy that a certain pig wouldn’t be sleeping with her fiancee. Then it had started to rain. Very cold, very wet rain. Ranma didn’t want to get to the dojo in her cursed form. She remembered where a near by coffee shop was and ran toward it. She opened the door and heard the jingle. For some reason it made her smile. She made her way to the counter thinking about why the place was deserted.
"Oh you poor dear." An elderly woman behind the counter said. "Let me get you something warm to drink." She fixed a cup of hot tea and offered it to Ranma.
Ranma was about to refuse when she realised how cold she was. She accepted the cup and guzzled it down, reveling in the warmth it brought. "Thanks!" she said as she searched her pockets.
"Oh don’t worry about paying." The old woman said. "Its on the house. You just looked so cold."
Ranma smiled at her and looked out side. "All right! It stopped raining." She turned back toward the old lady. "Umm…" she said sheepishly, "Can I have some hot water?"
The elderly woman filled a styrofoam cup and handed it to Ranma. "You come back soon ok?"
"No problem." Ranma said. "Thanks again Mrs…"
"Just call me granny."
"Thanks Granny." Ranma said and left. As soon as the bells chimed the old woman vanished in a puff of smoke.
"Odd." The owner of the store said as she came out of the back room. "I could have sworn I had a customer."
Ranma immediately emptied the contents of the cup on her head, reveling in the change. He'd been stuck as a girl for too long.
he looked around and recognized where he was. Furinkan High. "All right!" he shouted. "I'm home!" Ranma immediately jumped on the fence and ran toward the dojo. When he neared it he slowed. "What if Akane really doesn’t like me. What if Soun thinks I'm a failure? I mean, I lost to Shampoo. But that wasn’t ME. Well it was but…" His mind slapped him a few times.
he considered arguing with his mind but that would only make people stare. More than those who already were. he continued walking toward the dojo feeling a little better. "O.K.!" he said. "I'll make a good impression on her." Then a passing car splashed very cold water on him.
"…and my ingrate son cant even fight. He has no honor anymore, marrying that Amazon." Ranmas vision turned red as she tried to keep her anger under control…and failed. She leapt over the table with a cry, picked Genma up and pinned him to the wall. He was surprised to say the least. "Um…hello boy…"
"Boy?" Soun asked, puzzled.
"You could have tried to get me out of the village, Oyaji." Ranma growled.
"Excuse me." Soun tried to say.
"It was your decision to stay." Genma choked out. He was vainly trying to break Ranmas grip on his throat.
"Please?" Soun asked.
"What!!??" Ranma shouted. She ignored Souns protests. "I'd like an explanation."
"Well…It goes like this…" Genma croaked, now afraid of his son.
"Excuse me!!!" Soun shouted. "I didn’t know you had a daughter Saotome."
Ranma threw her father out into the koi pond with unerring accuracy and turned toward Soun. "He doesn’t." she looked at the floor. "Can I get some hot water? I can explain everything."
On cue Kasumi left for the kitchen followed by a wet panda. Nabiki walked up to Ranma and studied her. "If Mr. Saotome doesn’t have a daughter then you must be his 'son'." She poked Ranmas breast for emphasis.
Ranma slapped her hand away as Kasumi upended the hot water over her head. "Please don’t do that." Nabiki backed away apon seeing his change but stopped to look him over. He looked around the room at all the amazed occupants. "I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry 'bout this."
End Part 1
You might want an explanation on the goddesses. People on the FFML told me to give a reason for all this and they are the reason. In the legend of Zelda: Ocarina of time, they created the universe. Din, the goddess of fire and power, created the space and land. Farore, goddess of wind, created the plant-life, water and air. Nayru, goddess of love did the rest. What I'm trying to achieve with them is a reason to have Ranmas wish granted. About their personalities:
Din is careless and Brash. She tries to fit the power category and fits nicely. She is also very arrogant. She is clad in a Red body-suit with armor surrounding her body.
Farore is very mischievous. She will look for every opportunity to cause trouble and teach someone a lesson. She wears a something similar to a toga but with more fabric.
Nayru is very caring and very clueless. She seldom knows whats going on. When she does though, watch out. She can be too caring. She wears a long flowing pink robe adorned with lots of silk.