Author's Foreword: This story will be somewhat confusing at once, since it is an alternate universe. Yes, Usagi does seem to be missing; her whereabouts till be explained. In SM continuity, this is during Jadeite's term as a general. In Ranma continuity, this is right at the moment the Ranma manga starts, although things are rather different in this world... ********************* Guardian Ruby and Guardian Diamond fled down the hallway together, running for their lives as they had many times before, except this time, their lives were REALLY in danger. The King was dead, but his son lived; they had to live to get to a ship to warn the other kingdoms, to warn his son. Only they remained of the King's supporters. While Opal and Sapphire were not dead, they had been absent when the attack began.The last that Ruby had heard of them, they were out somewhere beyond the orbit of Pluto investigating rumors of a pirate base in the Comet Orchard as it was called, the great field of snowballs that sometimes fell towards the sun and became comets, which extended out from the solar system a huge distance. Of the other Guardians, all four had fallen to the shadow, turned by Beryl. She owned them now, although she had had to trick them into her service; each had possessed a weak point she had been able to exploit. She had nearly gotten Diamond; her failure there had prompted her to stage her coup. The attack had been overwhelming; Four Generals, a horde of her 'youma', and worst of all, her 'Seven Shadows', each a parody of one of the elite corps of Jupiter, the Seven Thunders. For that matter, she might have corrupted the Seven Thunders and turned them into Shadows, for all Ruby and Diamond knew. Diamond loved Ruby; that was how Beryl had tried to get to him. The problem was that Ruby didn't love Diamond. Not because Diamond wasn't the type of person Ruby could love, but for a much harder to overcome reason. They were both male, and Ruby didn't love men. The fact that Ruby also had a girlfriend didn't help, either, but Diamond had loved Ruby long before he met his girlfriend. Now, Sapphire, he had the hots for Diamond, but Diamond couldn't stand the whacko. Especially when he started talking to invisible spirits. Sure, they were REAL spirits, he wasn't insane, but it was still too creepy for Diamond. Only one thing had saved Diamond from the bait offered him of Ruby's love. He wished it had been his integrity, but he might have succumbed. He noticed one important thing, however. Beryl's shadow moved independantly of her body's movements. It had put him on his guard; Those who followed the cult of Metallia learned how to bind spirits into their shadows and use the shadows to spy and to kill. So, he casually had moved a light to see if it caused her shadow to change; it didn't change fast enough. He told Beryl he would think on it, and then went to the king. After that, everything exploded. Diamond and Ruby shared several features. They were both of average height, with Ruby a little taller than Diamond, both had black hair and blue eyes, and both were well muscled. Ruby's hair was cut short with arching bangs parted in the middle; he had worn his hair longer once, but his girlfriend had gotten him to cut it after it had been sliced up in a fight and looked horrible. Diamond, on the other hand, had long hair gathered into a pony-tail that ran down his back. Both wore the standard uniform of the guardians. Diamond's was grey with white trim, Ruby's was black with red trim. They rounded a corner and sliced through three youma as if they didn't even exist; Diamond had summoned up a sword with ease; matter was his to command. Ruby's powers were more subtle; whether he sped up time or slowed down his foes, the effects were the same, he moved in a blur, striking twenty times where most would land two blows at best. They kept going; the docks were in sight. Sprinting out the door, they paused in horror. Half the ships had been smashed to splinters. The other half were in the air with youma pilots controlling them. Loyal, dead guardsmen were scattered everywhere. There would be no escape that way. "We only have one choice," Ruby said. Diamond nodded. "An interplanetary teleport. But we've both used so much power that only one of us will be able to make it, and that only if we pool our power." "Right. You go. I'll sell my life as dearly as I can," Ruby said. Diamond shook his head. "You're going. I'll stay. Your lady love would never forgive me if I let you die." "And Sapphire would..." "I don't love Sapphire. But there is someone who loves you. More than one. So, you're going to go." "We'll both stay. I couldn't live with myself if I left you behind." Diamond put a hand on his shoulder. "They HAVE to be warned! Only Nine of the Ten Kingdoms will survive this day, but if we don't warn them, even fewer will survive. It'll take Beryl a while to secure the kingdom, but...we weren't ready for a war. I wonder how long she's planned this." Diamond sighed. "Now, join your power with mine." "No. I can't leave you! If we share our power, we can both make it!" Diamond shook his head. "You know better than that, Ruby. After that fight with the Shadows...I'm surprised we're still moving. It's time to go, Ruby. I hear them coming." "Diamond...I..." "I love you. Tell her to give you a kiss for me. I won't shame you by giving you one myself." Tears were starting to flow. "Diamond...I..." "Don't lie to me; there's no point. I know how you feel, my friend." He squeezed Ruby's shoulder. "Maybe next time around, I'll have a better chance. Go." Their powers merged and joined, the only ecstasy Diamond had ever been able to share with Ruby, much to his regret. In a flare of reddish light, Ruby vanished, becoming a streak that shot to the heavens. Diamond was still crying when the Seven Shadows found him, along with the four corrupted Guardians, Beryl, and a huge serpentine dragon she rode. "You should have joined me, Diamond," she said. "I should have put a sword through your heart when you offered. I should have gotten Pluto to cut off your head in your cradle. I guess I'll have to settle for doing it myself." He didn't get her head, but he did insure she would have to walk to her next battle. ************ Hearts and Minds A SM/Ranma Thingamabob. Chapter 1: Well Met By Sunlight by John Biles ***************** Jadeite stared at Tourmaline, who was grinning at him again. Usually this meant that something to her benefit was about to happen, probably at his expense. She was of average height, shorter than him, though, with green hair cropped short except for her long bangs. Unlike the other generals, she wore a slinky green dress with a wide, loose skirt, cut extremely low, almost to the waist in front and loosely held together on top by a few dark green cords looped through a series of button holes. It showed off her figure well; her body was in excellent shape, though not a bodybuilder's figure; little fat, but not a lot of muscle, either, except for her legs, which he suspected she could probably bend a steel bar with. Tourmaline's irises were emerald green; indeed, she seemed reasonably obsessed with the color, although her skin tone was quite normal; Jadeite sometimes wondered if she would eventually start dying herself green. The first words from her lips confirmed his suspicion he was going to be in trouble. "Jade-chan." Even Beryl wouldn't call him that. Even Tourmaline wouldn't do it unless she was about to wheedle him into doing something suicidal or make a deal which would come back to bite him on the butt. The worst part of it was knowing that one way or another she would get him to say yes. Even though he hated her. I'm surprised she hasn't talked Beryl into abdicating and making her queen yet, he thought. "Yes, Tourma- chan?" He put his best sneer into it, and she winced. It drove her crazy, though he had no idea why. I'll almost certainly suffer for that, but it's worth it, he thought. "I need four of your youma, Jade-chan," she said, dropping the wheedling tone. "Four who can assume a fully human form." "ALL of my youma can do that, unlike those lazy louts that Kunzite and Zoicite like to fornicate with." He paused, smiling. "If that's what you need them for..." She nodded. "What better place to steal human energy than a house of prostitution? People EXPECT to be tired afterwards." Jadeite boggled. "But that's...that's..." "Dishonorable? And setting up a fraudulent cram school or weight loss center isn't dishonorable?" She laughed. "And what better place to gather information? Foolish men say all sorts of things in bed." She grinned. "Not that you would know." Slinking over, she ran a finger up his chest. "No one's wiggled past these defenses in a long while. Holding out for your old fiancee?" "Those days are over. Not that YOU would know. I cannot see why Beryl favors you upstarts so." "Because we get things done. You'd all still be wondering why we can't open a portal to somewhere besides Tokyo if not for me. And when Moonstone finds a way to open portals elsewhere...no more worries about those silly Sailor Senshi." The finger came up under his chin, then flicked off it. "C'mon, Jade-chan. I just need four Youma. I'll even use my own energy to send them to Earth. And say...twenty percent of the energy they gather as a...rental fee will be sent directly to you." "I don't have as much faith in your mother as you do." He smiled as Tourmaline frowned. "But...yes, I'll loan you the youma. I have more than I can use directly right now." And everything they hear, they'll report to me. I'll know your every move, he thought. Yes, a good idea. "Still, don't forget that your job is to gather intelligence. We need to find the Sailor Senshi; they must have a base somewhere. And of course..." "The Silver Moon Crystal. That's mainly Nephrite's job to find that, though," Tourmaline said. "Yes, he would look quite bad if someone else found it first," Jadeite said. She smiled. "Sometimes, Jade-chan, you are my kind of guy. Indeed, he would." She spun on one heel; Jadeite wondered again how she could stand to wear high heeled shoes all the time, although she was incredibly nimble in them. Perhaps she got her leg muscles from effectively standing on her toes all the time. *********** Ami Mizuno was ruing the day she had ever asked her cousin to train her in martial arts. It had seemed a logical choice; her powers were less offensive than Rei's, therefore, she should train in fighting and take advantage of her senshi level strength and speed. Unfortunately, raw talent wasn't enough against skill. Her cousin was good, incredibly good. In fact, Ami was quite certain that if she or Rei didn't use their magical attacks, it was quite possible that her cousin would beat any of them in a fight purely of fists. Normally, her cousin was gentle, although prone to bursts of rage. She hadn't expected such a beating from her. I guess I haven't seen too much of her in years, but still... Ami peeled herself off the floor. "So you know Judo too?" Her cousin nodded, her long hair whipping about, although it was tied into a pony-tail in the back. That might have just made it easier for it to move, in fact. She was a good five inches taller than Ami, with soft brown eyes that could harden when she got angry. She wasn't angry now. In fact, she was amused. "I can't really say I've mastered any art, but I've mastered most of five arts. Karate and Atemi are my favorites, really. Karate is good for breaking things, and Atemi is good for stopping people in their tracks if I don't want to hurt them. I've got a lot more to learn before I'm ready." Ami frowned. Her cousin had been on a serious vengeance kick for almost as long as she could remember. She was the only survivor of some kind of massacre. The rest of her family had died or vanished, or something. Ami's cousin had been catatonic for a year afterwards, and after that had set herself with a grim purpose to becoming the best martial artist on Earth, travelling all over and studying every scrap of martial arts lore she could learn. She'd just gotten back from a trip to China and was going to stay with Ami's family for a while, since they had lots of room in their house and Ami's mother thought staying with family might calm her down. Ami had never understood why her mother let her cousin roam around, although she suspected that her mother knew what had really happened. But she was glad to have someone else in the house. For one thing, her mother was gone all the time and it got lonely sometimes. For another thing, Ami couldn't cook very well; she'd always been too busy studying to learn, but somehow, despite a life on the road (or maybe because of it, Ami suddenly realized), her cousin was a great cook. "Can you do the move water without touching it trick?" Ami asked. Her cousin's face turned impish and her eyes twinkled. She thrust out an arm at Ami, who felt her stomach get shoved. More from the shock than the impact, she fell down. "I always thought that only worked in martial arts movies!" Ami said. Not that I can talk with my abilities, I suppose, she thought. "I know a few other tricks too, but I haven't mastered any of them. Most of our family's traditional techniques were lost when.." Her face became pained and she stared at the floor for a few seconds. "But my last sensei finally enabled me to begin to master my chi. Unfortunately, I had to leave because of...well, I'm not supposed to talk about it. There was a lot of odd family business he had to deal with." She stretched. "I think we've practiced enough for one day. Let's take a bath." Ami nodded. "I'll go start the water if you'll get me a change of clothing, okay, Kasumi?" Kasumi Tendo nodded to her cousin. "Sounds good to me." ************* Ukyou unpacked her possessions, fretting. How am I going to successfully hide my gender from a ROOMMATE? I specifically requested a single room and then they stick me with some guy! Ukyou had carefully trained herself to not regret her decision to live as a male to save her honor after her rejection by Ranma Saotome, but for tactical reasons, if none other, she was currently regretting it. Ukyou wasn't entirely clear on why she had chosen to attend Blue Sky Academy, anyway. Her oath to live as a man hadn't included situations which would expose her ruse. Unfortunately, her father had gotten into the whole thing so much that she wasn't sure if he even remembered he had a daughter and not a son. Blue Sky had several advantages, however. First, it was cheap. Secondly, she had won a years' tuition waiver in their annual martial arts tournament. Thirdly, she had learned that her intended prey, Ranma Saotome, had attended the Academy's junior high. Apparently he had run off to China with his father instead of graduating, but everyone expected him back. She could be patient and wait. If nothing else, it would give her some chances to gather information on him. Ukyou quickly stowed her possessions. I never should have let my father make all the arrangements, Ukyou thought, but I didn't think he'd screw up and let them give me a roomie! The possibility that a cheap boys' school wouldn't have single rooms never crossed her mind. Nor had it crossed her father's mind. She didn't have very many possessions, so this went quickly. Her clothing went in the small dresser drawers that was empty; the long closet was shallow, but it had a divider in the middle and two short three-drawer dresser drawers. Her one poster, a wall hanging of Mount Fuji, went over her bed, and her porta-grill squeezed between the head of the bed and the wall. The mega-spatula went under the bed and she hung her spatula bandolier over the hanger pole on her side of the closet. Finally, her six books went in the small bookshelf over her bed. Two Okonomiyaki cookbooks, a camping guide, an exercise guide, a thesaurus (given to her by her father shortly before her departure), and _That Hideous Strength_, which she kept meaning to read, but something always came up. She sat down on her bed and stared over at her absent roommate's side of the room. He liked racing, or at least racing posters. There were three race-car and four motorcycle posters on his side, along with one Speed Racer poster and an odd family picture. The family was a typical Japanese family, all with brown eyes, black hair of various lengths and styles, and quite strongly resembling each other. Except for one person out of the eight, who was blond with gold eyes and a good half-foot taller than the rest of them. He was a handsome fellow, though a bit thin. The contrast was so high that he looked almost pasted into the picture. It was hard to tell the age of the oldest of the women in the picture. She might have either been the eldest daughter or a very young wife of the middle-aged man who was clearly the father. Ukyou stared at the blond man in the picture. Friend of the family? How old is this photo? Either the blond or a slightly younger looking boy with short, but spikey, black hair were the right age to be her roommate. But which one? "I bet you're thinking I don't look much like my family." His voice was cheerful and not too deep, though not high-pitched either. It was a pleasant voice. Ukyou turned and looked and saw the blond man standing before her, just as he had appeared in the picture. "We took that two weeks ago. I'm adopted; It had something to do with how my birth0parents died and how my adoptive father's wife died; there was some kind of terrorist attack. Dad won't talk about it." His voice had turned a little more serious. Pointing to the oldest woman in the picture, he said, "That's my step-adoptive mother. Dad married her about four years ago. Her husband died in some kind of lab accident; she won't talk about that either. As you'll learn, everyone in my family has some kind of secret." The blond grinned at Ukyou. "Some of us are better at keeping them than others. This will be a challenge, though. I like challenges." Ukyou blinked. "Um, nice to meet you. I'm Kuonji Ukyou." "And I'm Ten'ou Haruka. Nice to meet you too." ************* Rei was busily sweeping the yard when she heard the screaming coming ever closer. She quickly put her broom aside and ran over to the Torii (the arch at the top of the steps leading up to the temple). Looking down the stairs, she could see Luna chasing a red haired girl with a pony- tail. The girl was running faster than Rei would have thought possible, and clutching some kind of metal cylinder as if her life depended on it. As the girl drew closer, Rei recognized the cylinder. It was a transformation pen, or something similar. A new Senshi? But why is she running away from Luna? Rei was confused. The girl leaped up over Rei and kept going into the temple. Letting her run, Rei knelt down and said to Luna, "What is going on here?" "That girl stole the new disguise pen I was bringing you!" Luna sagged to the ground, huffing and puffing. "I put it down for a second to chew on a fish this nice person gave me and the girl picked it up. I turned to try to get it back and she screamed and ran. I've been chasing her ever since." She looked back down the stairs. "Her pet panda couldn't keep up." Rei frowned. She had almost convinced her until she mentioned the pet panda. "Uh huh." "It's true, I tell you! She was walking along with a panda!" Rei sighed. "I'll go try and calm her down." She found the girl in front of the Sacred fire, staring into it, fascinated. She looked dazed. Rei walked over. "I'm Rei Hino, a priestess of the Sacred Fire. Can I help you?" The girl shuddered. "Can you break curses?" An idea struck Rei. "You're cursed to fear cats?" That made sense. Shaking, the girl looked around. "Cats? Where?" That had to be it, Rei thought. No wonder she was so irrational. There was something weird about her, she could sense now. Likely the curse. "I can try to use the Sacred Fire to purge you of your curse." The girl's eyes widened. "You can? That would be GREAT!" "Just stand in front of the fire, and I will try to exorcise you." Rei went and got her full regalia and all of her equipment. She hadn't done an exorcism in a while, and she wanted to do this right. About halfway through the rite, she heard Luna spit out a loud yowl, but she ignored her. Interrupting the rite could be disastrous. The sacred flame was roaring high, and she could almost feel something...the girl had flame in her. The flame wasn't the problem, but she was definitely attuned to fire. This would help a lot, Rei was sure. Being attacked from behind by a panda, on the other hand, didn't help at all. It was about as far from help as you could get, in fact. Rei went flying forward, crashing into the girl and they both went flying into the sacred fire. The panda growfed and charged forward, but the flames roared higher and he stumbled back, looking scared. The girl staggered to her feet, terrified at first, then surprised she wasn't burning up. "I...is this part of the exorcism?" Rei dragged her out of the fire; best to take no chances. "No. I see that the Sacred Fire likes you." She smiled at the redhead. "Maybe it likes your hair...oh, what's your name?" "Ranma Saotome. Sorry about all this trouble. My pop is a complete nutcase." "He sent you off on a trip with a psycho panda?" The psycho panda in question growfed loudly. "He is the panda." She must be in shock, Rei thought. "Well, is there some way to call him off?" Ranma-chan ran over, dropkicked the panda out the door, over the torii, and off down the stairs. "I guess we need to start over?" Luna had been sidling over to where Ranma-chan had dropped the wand. She picked it up just in time for Ranma-chan to spot her and freak out. Rei shooed him out and slowly calmed down Ranma- chan. "Don't worry. Luna is a nice cat. You're safe." Ranma-chan clung to Rei like a lifeline. "C...cat...don't let it...eat me." "You'll be fine." She could feel the tension go out of Ranma-chan and felt really sorry for her. Ranma-chan quietly stepped back. "I'm really sorry about that. I just..." She stared at the ground. "Dammit." "Don't worry. I'm a professional. I will exorcise you or DIE trying." Two hours later, Rei collapsed from exhaustion. No matter what she did, she couldn't do a single thing about Ranma's fear of cats. The Sacred Fire liked Ranma-chan and kept showing off for her, but that didn't help. At least Luna had departed, so Ranma-chan wasn't freaking out, either. "I guess we're gonna have to call in Grandpa." "I hope your old man is more competent than mine." ********** After two days at her new school, Ukyou was rapidly coming to wonder exactly why she was there. It wasn't a bad school, but trying to hide her sex was simply going to be virtually impossible, even though her phys. ed. teacher, a fellow named Shimeru Futaba, was covering for her. Why he was willing to help, she wasn't sure, but apparently her father had gotten ahold of him in one of his rare bursts of actually planning ahead. Bathing wasn't easy, either. She had to take her baths in the middle of the night. For the first time, her resolve to live as a boy was shaken, for the simple reason of its impracticality. I need to switch schools, she thought. Even though living with Dad is starting to drive me insane, there is no other way I can live as a boy successfully. Unless some passing kami turns me into one. As she sat under a tree, brooding, she was startled by Haruka saying, "Contemplating the universe?" She looked up and smiled. He was a decent roommate, at least so far, and something about him...She actually enjoyed being around him. It had been a while since she had had a real friend; having to hide her past always led to problems. Haruka never pried into her past, living always in the present. Of course, it had only been two days. "Thinking about my plans for my life." "I could use a good auto mechanic for my plans." He leaned against the tree. "I feel the urge to drive at really high speed. Wanna come along?" "Sure." She got up. "How fast do you drive?" He grinned at her. "How fast do I have to drive to make you get sick?" "I don't get motion sickness." Rubbing his hands together gleefully, he said, "They all say that at first. Then they usually can't manage speech. Let's let the good times roll." *********** Grandpa had left a note. 'Off chasing a demon panda. Be back later.' Ranma-chan laughed. "Sounds like a good idea to me." "Is the panda your pet or what?" Rei asked. Ranma-chan stared nervously at the ground. "He...um..he's under a curse too. He..." She trailed off, unable to continue. "Well, I'm sure Grandpa will be able to help him. And you. So how did you get this curse?" Rei led her new friend out to the temple porch, and they sat down on the edge of it. "Pop dragged me on this trip to China and we went to this cursed training grounds cause he's a moron. So I fell into one of the cursed pools and...got cursed." She sighed. "To make it worse, Pop was claiming today that he engaged me years ago and now I gotta marry someone I've never met!" Rei's eyes widened. "That's completely outrageous! Nobody does arranged marriages any more. Well, maybe the really rich people do sometimes, but not people like us. Kinda push you and set up matchmakers and stuff, yeah, I can see that, but still...I'd knock Grandpa into orbit if he engaged me to someone." "Wouldn't he need to ask your Dad?" Rei sighed. "My parents are dead. I've lived with Grandpa since I was five or so. Hey, where IS your dad?" "He...he's...um, we had a fight over the engagement and I kinda ran off." Ranma-chan looked intensely uncomfortable. "He'll probably show up soon." Rei nodded. "Well, Grandpa will be back soon and we can get rid of your curse." A thought struck her. "You do Martial Arts?" "Yeah. I've been training since I was five, out on the road with my dad." "So your mom is dead?" Rei asked. Ranma-chan blinked with the look of someone who hadn't really thought about the question at hand. "I'm not sure. Pop won't ever talk about her." "Okay. Wanna spar? I've been studying martial arts some myself." Ranma-chan gave her an assessing look, then said, "Sure." *********** Rei had planned to go easy on the girl; she was worried that she might hurt Ranma-chan due to her own magically enhanced strength and speed; her mortal form wasn't nearly as strong as her senshi form, but she had noticed that it was getting stronger. Ranma-chan looked incredibly flimsy for someone who had been training since age five. Some people would have concluded that Ranma-chan was lying, but Rei had a knack for detecting such things and the girl was clearly sincere. When she failed to hit the girl in the first five minutes, Rei concluded it was time to go all out. The more she pressed her assault, the faster the girl dodged. In fact, the girl hadn't aimed a single blow at her. "Do something besides dodge!" Ranma-chan nodded, but continued to simply dodge and back up. The wall was closing in, and Rei speeded up. I'll trap her against the wall, Rei thought, then dropped low and tried to sweep Ranma-chan's feet. Ranma-chan backflipped away, giving herself a little space. Just what Rei wanted. She went for a flying kick. Ranma-chan didn't do what Rei expected. She didn't dodge. She didn't attack. Instead, she froze with a look of terror on her face, which Rei thought was just a BIT more than the attack merited, even if it was cool. "Hi, Rei! Luna and I came over to...hey, what's going on?" It was Ami. And Luna. Rei's triumph changed to horror as she crashed into a mostly immobile Ranma-chan, knocking her for a loop. "I'm sorry, Ranma-chan!" She turned to the newcomers. "Luna, get out of here! She's cursed to fear cats!" Luna frowned. Ami ran over to Ranma-chan. "Why are you beating this girl up, Rei-chan?" Rei waved her arms about. "I wasn't beating her up! We were sparring, but she's afraid of cats! She got cursed! Now get Luna out of here!" Luna pouted and ran off. ********** Grandpa said to Mr. Takuya at the zoo, "Are you SURE you didn't have a panda escape?" Mr. Takuya laughed. "I'm quite certain." "Well, you can have this one for free. I believe I drove out the demon that was possessing him." Mr. Takuya wasn't one to look a gift panda in the mouth. ********** "Cubic Zirconium!" Jadeite said. He hadn't meant to say that; this wasn't a good time to insult a minion, but everyone called the man that, and he just couldn't help himself. "Diamond," Diamond said. He was a tall youma clad in Samurai armor made from opaque diamond plates. It was incredibly tough, as was his sword, made of diamond. He was a fine warrior; if he had any tactical sense whatsoever, he would have been a General. As it was, he was only a Major; he simply couldn't be trusted to act independantly for long. As a subordinate, however, he was excellent. "Your job is to seek out and find the Sailor Senshi. Make a mess and draw them out." His real job was to divert the Sailors' attention long enough for Jadeite to finally carry out an energy draining operation without the Sailors walking into the middle of it. It was ludicrous; he probably couldn't have opened an energy draining soba stand without the Sailors wandering into the middle of it for lunch. "But keep it low key enough that you don't have to keep beating up the police; we don't want government attention. They might actually have something capable of hurting us, though I doubt it." Diamond saluted. "Yes, sir! I'll round up my troop and..." "Don't take more than one other youma; we don't have the energy to take more." Nor do I like tossing my youma down a bottomless pit, he thought. "I'll take Feldspar." "Feldspar will be assisting me with other matters. Queen Beryl is considering promoting her; it's my job to decide if she should be promoted." Diamond's eyes widened. "My little girl..promoted to..." "Quite." Jadeite turned to go, then looked back. "Your success would reflect well on..." "I'll bring you their heads!" More likely to be vice versa, he thought. ********** Ranma-chan woke up on a bed, feeling confused. The cold compress on her forehead felt good though. The last thing she remembered was...not much. It was all quite fuzzy. Something about an engagement and falling in a pool and...martial arts. She'd been training in martial arts for a long time. Also, there was some girl who was going to cure her curse. Yes, that was it. She opened her eyes, "What happened to me?" She spotted the priestess girl, Rei, nearby. Rei was reading some manga, while the other girl was busy typing something on a laptop. She turned, her face wrought with concern. "Are you okay? I'm REALLY sorry, but Ms. Brainiac here brought her pet cat over and you froze up and..." Ranma-chan sighed. She didn't remember what happened, but she did remember about...about...the c...c...c...that problem. "Sorry about that." Ami said, "I'm really sorry! Luna didn't...I mean, I didn't realize it would be a problem." "Don't worry about it...what's your name?" Ranma- chan asked. "Ami Mizuno. Nice to meet you." ************** "Cure your curse? No problem," Grandpa said. "Have you ever considered becoming a temple acolyte?" He had decked himself out in full regalia, as had Rei. Ami sat by the door and watched as the two of them began to circle Ranma-chan, flailing about with prayer rods and invoking the sacred fire. They invoked the kamis, the sacred fire, the vault of heaven, and the great emperor of the universe, but nothing seemed to work. Or if it did work, they couldn't tell. After a good half hour, Grandpa said, "I must use my ultimate technique." "What's that, Grandpa?" Rei asked. She'd never heard of any such thing. "We ask the Sacred Fire to burn her clean of her curse and any other evil magic she may suffer from. It's dangerous though. Sometimes the Sacred Fire can...well, if one is spiritually impure..." "I already fell in it once, sir," Ranma-chan said. "I'm sure I'll be fine." "Then enter it." She stepped into it, once again surprised at not burning to death. Still, she felt fine, so best not to alert reality that she should be crispy. Voices chanted outside the fire, but she couldn't hear them. The fire embraced her, warming her without destroying her. Fire within her soul, her own power, flared up in answer, and two fires merged to become one. The Sacred Fire was inside her and she was the fire. Her fear of cats ignited like tinder and burned away. Her curse, however...THIS IS NOT EVIL MAGIC. MORE IMPORTANTLY, I HAVE NO POWER OVER WATER...What? You can't cure my curse?...FIRE MELTS METAL, METAL CUTS WOOD, WOOD BENDS IN WIND BUT DOES NOT BREAK, WIND STIRS THE WATERS, WATER DOUSES FIRE. YOU MUST FIND ONE WHO INCARNATES WIND TO CURE YOUR CURSE. HOT WATER RETURNS YOU TO YOUR NORMAL FORM BECAUSE IT IS WATER WHICH HAS BEEN INFUSED WITH SOME OF THE SPIRIT OF FIRE...Where can I find someone who incarnates wind?...STAY HERE AND ONE WHO PLAYS THAT ROLE WILL COME INTO YOUR LIFE...So you can do nothing at all?...I CAN TELL YOU THAT YOUR CURSE MAKES YOU STRONG AS WELL AS BRINGING YOU TROUBLE. YOU WILL NEED THAT STRENGTH...How soon is that air person gonna show?...SOONER AND LONGER THAN YOU MAY THINK. I CAN REVERT YOU TO YOUR MALE FORM FOR THE MOMENT, UNTIL YOU GET WET. DO YOU DESIRE THIS?...Umm, I'd better explain it to them so I guess I'll stay a girl until I can explain it...AS YOU WISH. GO NOW, CHILD OF FIRE, WITH MY BLESSING. Ranma-chan stepped out of the fire. "Well, it got rid of ONE of my problems. Unfortunately, the Sacred Fire can't do nothing cause my curse is connected to water. I'm supposed to hang around here and wait for some Air kami or some such thing." Rei was confused. "So you're still afraid of cats?" "Different problem. Can you get me some hot water?" Ranma had to demonstrate changing sex about five times to get them to believe him, then he had to threaten to curse Grandpa to change sex in order to get him to STOP dousing him. *********** Dinner was quite good. Rei was a good cook, and the food was all kinds that Ranma liked. "Pop's missing a good meal." Grandpa said, "Wait...is your father Saotome Genma?" Ranma nodded. "Yeah. You know Pop?" "So where is he?" Grandpa had the sound of someone trying to hard to be causal. "I dunno. I assume he was the panda that you chased off, unless Tokyo is now full of wandering pandas. Whaddya do with that panda?" Grandpa looked nervous. "It got away. Anyway, you're welcome to stay with us, Ranma while you wait for the spirit the Sacred Fire spoke of. I'm sorry we couldn't cure you." "Stuff happens." He shrugged. "Want some lessons, Rei? I think you've got a lot of potential." Rei blushed. "That would be great." "I don't like fighting girls, but...you've got a lot of potential and I just...It would be a waste. To not train you." It wasn't really FIGHTING a girl, he told himself. And I gotta find SOMETHING to do while I'm stuck here. He wasn't quite sure why he was trying to convince himself to do this, but as usual, he won his argument with himself; although, technically speaking, it would have been hard to lose it. "You really think I have potential?" "Yeah. We can start tomorrow afternoon, okay?" "We'll need to sign you up at a school," Grandpa said. "Rei goes to an all girls' school, so unless you want us to splash you every morning..." Ranma shuddered. No way. "No." "I'll see if Ami can get you hooked up at Juuban High," Rei said. "I'd be happy to," Ami said. "It's coed and not too hard to get into to. What are your entrance exam scores like?" "Pop wouldn't let me see them." Not a good omen. *********** "The string of strange sightings and fainting spells continues," the announcer said as Rei and Ranma ate breakfast. Grandpa had run off in the middle of the night and they didn't know where he was. "Some victims claim monster attacks are responsible." Ranma laughed. "Monster attacks. Yeah, right." "So you think the Sailor Senshi aren't real either?" Rei asked, smiling a tiny smile. "The what? Is that some anime?" Ami came into the kitchen. "Hi! Time for us to get moving, Ranma. It's a long walk, and we need to get you signed up." Rei looked at her watch. "Ack! I'm gonna be late too!" She sprinted off, and Ami and Ranma soon followed. Thus, there was no one in the kitchen to see the announcer say, "In other news, the Tokyo Zoo sold and shipped a panda to the San Francisco Zoo early this morning. They also caught an old man trying to steal the panda, but he escaped. The hunt for the old man continues..." ********** Ranma's first day of school went fairly well. He scraped by in most of his classes, being thankful that it would be a while until the first spate of exams for the semester and in his physical education class, he actually excelled. It had been months since Ranma had been around anyone who wasn't in as good of shape as him, and after stumbling through classes all day long, it felt good to be the best at something. The one real problem was that some geeky kid with glasses kept following him around and spying on him. The guy had taken some pictures of him during lunch; he was sure of that. He ate lunch with Ami and a girl named Naru. He would have preferred to eat with some guys, but he didn't really know anyone yet. Also, Ami had provided the lunch he hadn't even thought of bringing, and it would have been rude to take the food and run off. She was pretty good at cooking, which helped. "So you do martial arts?" Naru asked. She was a cute redhead with wavy hair. "Yeah. I've been training just about forever. I just got back from a training trip in China." "Wow! That's really cool!" Naru said. "Show us some moves!" Ranma laughed and got up, going through a simple kata while everyone oohed and aahed. Ami asked, "So what style do you follow?" "Saotome style Anything Goes Martial Arts. We specialize in mid-air grappling, but it's a real grab bag of moves. Speed and flexibility are the key." He sat back down and started eating again. "My cousin does martial arts too," Ami said. "I think her family taught Anything Goes Martial Arts as well." Ranma blinked. "Really? It's not too common. What family?" "The Tendos. Her name is Kasumi." The name sounded vaguely familiar to Ranma. Wait...was this the girl Pop was planning for me to marry? Where the hell is Pop anyway? "Sounds vaguely familiar. Is she any good?" "Really, really good. She's teaching me and I can't even lay a finger on her unless she wants me to." "Well, I'm going to be teaching Rei," Ranma said. "She's got a lot of talent." He paused. "Is it like 'in' for women to do martial arts around here?" Ami laughed. "It can be dangerous for a girl alone around here. We can't always count on the sailor senshi to save us, eh, Naru?" Naru said, "Do you think...you could teach me too? I've...They may joke about running into monsters, but I really have, and I'd feel better if I could defend myself." Her voice was quite serious. Ami turned to her. "Naru-chan," she said softly. "I guess it has been kinda hard for you." "Monster attacks?" Ranma asked dubiously. "Yeah," Naru said. "Evil Youma going around draining people's life force." Ranma looked more dubious. "It's true!" "It is true," Ami said. "Just ask anyone. No one knows where they come from or what they really want." Ranma frowned. "And the cops aren't doing anything?" "They're never around," Naru said. "Unless maybe the Sailor Senshi work for the government. No one knows where they come from." "Well, I guess teaching two wouldn't be harder than one," Ranma said nervously, as he wasn't too sure about teaching one, especially girls. "Thank you!" Naru said. "You should come too, Ami! You might be next." Ranma decided to change the topic before he could get more students than he could handle. ********** "One of the first things you have to learn is how to fall down," Ranma said. He was dressed in a gi, as were his students, though he wasn't sure where they had all gotten gis so fast. Since this was more basic than Rei needed, he put her to practicing a kata while he worked with Naru, who seemed to catch on fairly quickly. By the end of the session, everyone but Ranma was sweating, while he felt he was just starting to get warmed up. Naru departed, while he and Rei went to make dinner. "Shouldn't your Grandpa be back by now?" he asked. She frowned. "Yes." "Pop hasn't shown up yet, either." Ranma frowned. "Could they have fallen to one of those...umm...monster attacks?" Rei's eyes widened. "I hope not." Jadeite, if you've hurt my grandpa... The phone rang, and Rei ran to it. "Hello?" "I need you to come bail me out," Grandpa said over the phone. The phone was lucky that Rei couldn't use her fire powers in her normal form. ************ Ranma was torn. Honor demanded that he go to San Francisco and rescue his father. On the other hand, he really, really wanted a vacation from his old man. He had had enough training for a while after his last disaster, and as soon as his Pop showed up, he was going to end up engaged to some woman, probably that Tendo girl. While his father hadn't actually SAID who he had engaged Ranma to, he had said something about how it was the daughter of an old friend. And he was pretty sure Pop had mentioned someone named Tendo as an old friend. There had been something about a dojo too. A dim memory about some weird looking gambler stirred in Ranma's mind, then faded away. It seemed irrelevant. Unfortunately, as far as the honorable thing went, Ranma had no money to go to San Francisco. It had taken all of the Hinos' ready cash to get Grandpa out on bail. He could swim to China, but swimming all the way to America? Ranma knew he was good, but not that good. He would have to stay here and save up money. "It's my fault your father got sold to America," Grandpa Hino said. "You can stay with us as long as you like. And I'll help you go get your father once we save up enough money." He stared at the ground and muttered something Ranma couldn't quite hear. Something about changing. "Thanks, Hino-sama," Ranma said. "I guess I'll have to...ugh...get a job." The thought revolted him. "Maybe we could set up some martial arts classes, Ranma. I understand you have a few students already." Ranma nodded. Rei frowned. "This is a temple, not a gymnasium." Grandpa waggled a finger at her. "This is an honorable way for the boy to earn money without violating the school rules against having a part-time job, Rei." Rei opened her mouth, then closed it. She couldn't think of a way to wiggle past that. "And maybe he'll attract some cute female students." Time for Rei to work out her frustrations. ********* Ami was typing away at her computer, working on a paper, when a hand suddenly gripped her shoulder. It was Kasumi. "Ami, dinner's ready." She jumped out of the chair. Kasumi's food was pretty good, worth rushing for. "Thanks for cooking dinner, Kasumi. Mom's never around, and my cooking is...well...learning to cook was never a big priority for me. It won't kill anyone, but.." Kasumi smiled as they headed out into the hallway together. "So who is this boy you ran off to meet this morning?" She smiled fondly at Ami, looking like Ami was her daughter who she had just caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "Is he cute?" "It's not like that!" Ami said. Although he is cute, she thought. "He's staying at Rei's temple for a while, but he can't go to Rei's school because her school is for girls only. So I set him up at Juuban High." Soon, they reached the dinner table. Three places were set, although the odds of Ami's mom showing up wasn't too high; she was on another long shift at the hospital. Ami sat down at her place, while Kasumi sat across the table. "So, what's his name?" "Ranma Saotome." Ami said, cutting her first bite of fish and chewing on it. Kasumi's eyes widened. "Saotome? Practices Anything Goes Martial Arts?" "Do you know him? He's going to teach Naru and Rei." Kasumi's face darkened rapidly. "I have heard nothing good about that family. Father used to tell stories when he was drunk, and none of them were good, about someone named Genma Saotome, although I did get the impression that they had once been friends. The man sounded very dishonorable and disreputable. And the stories that Masaki-sensei told me about him..." Kasumi shuddered. "I'd be careful about associating with this Ranma until...Hmmm. I think I shall challenge him to see how he fights." Ami blinked. "Is that really necessary?" "Very." ************ Ranma blinked at the glasses-wearing geek who was confronting him. "So, are the rumors true?" the boy asked him. Ranma began to sweat. Surely there can't be rumors about my curse...no one knows about it. "Hell no!" The boy waved a cat in front of Ranma. Where he had been hiding it, Ranma had no clue. Ranma tensed for a moment, but his old pangs of fear were gone. The relief that gave him was indescribable. "Meow meow meow!" the boy proclaimed. Grabbing the cat and petting it, Ranma said, "Who are you, you whacko?" "I'm Umino, expert gatherer of information and future scientist. So what about the other rumor?" Ranma sighed. "WHAT other rumor?" "That you ran away from your old school after someone actually beat you in a fight. A fellow named Ryouga Hibiki." Umino checked his notes. "After you kept stealing his bread. So do you still steal food?" "No!" Ranma shouted, causing people to stare. Naru came over. "Umino, lay off Ranma. He's not dating Rei either, before you ask that. And he's not an alien infiltrator." Thanks, Naru, Ranma thought. "What she said. And I haven't EVER been beaten by Ryouga. Or stole his food. He just wasn't fast enough to get a meal at the food stand before I did." "Is getting a meal really that difficult at your old school?" "You got no idea how crazy that got." *********** Haruka frowned. This was her third day with no lunch because the press of students had been IMPOSSIBLE to get through to get to the food. You'd think the cafeteria staff would have adequate food, she thought. At least this doesn't happen at dinner. She sat under a tree and tried to pretend she wasn't hungry. Then the smell hit her. The pleasant smell of meats and sauces and fried batter. It was a short trip to its source, a portable grill set up by her roommate, Ukyou. He was cooking two okonomiyakis which were making her want to drool. She sidled over. "I don't suppose you've got any extra after you finish making those?" "The second one is for you, Haruka-kun. I noticed yesterday that you didn't get any lunch. This school is whacko." Ukyou was hunched over the grill, his arms moving at high speed as he performed a dozen tasks at once. Haruka hadn't thought it possible for anyone to move that fast. "So how'd you get so fast?" "Years of practice making okonomiyaki by the raging ocean," Ukyou said absently. "My family practices Okonomiyaki style martial arts." "Ya gotta be kidding me," Haruka said. How would you do a food combat style? Except for food fights. "It was developed during the Heiian period by the chefs who served the monks of the Kai-lo temple," Ukyou said. "Which was feuding with the Shai-kami temple over whether the Pure Land existed. " He flipped over the bread. "Would you rather have beef or pork?" "Yes." Ukyou blinked, then laughed. "Anyway, my family's descended from those chefs. Or so Dad claims when he's sober." "When sober? What does he say when he's drunk?" "He likes to claim he's head chef for someone named 'Queen Serenity'. Apparently we live on the Moon when he's wasted too. My old man's a nutjob." He sighed. "Which is why I gotta kill this Saotome if I ever find him." "This Saotome?" Haruka asked, curious. She had sensed that Ukyou seemed to be frequently angry for no apparent reason; perhaps this had something to do with it. "Damn bastard set up an engagement between me and his kid when I was younger, then stole everything we owned and ran off. Well, our yatai, anyway." She sighed, then flipped one of okonomiyaki into the air and topped it with beef, pork, and sauce before it landed, handing it to Haruka. It said, 'For my roomie' on it in Kanji too. "I'm impressed," Haruka said, looking at it. "With what you just did, that is. So you're trying to hunt this guy down?" "Yeah." Ukyou soon finished preparing his own okonomiyaki. "You do track, right?" "Yeah. I love to run. Nothing makes me feel more alive." "I need to build up my speed. Can you train me?" "Sure. It's hard work, though." Ukyou grinned. "I'm used to hard work. How about if I teach you martial arts in return?" "Do I need to buy my own giant spatula?" Haruka grinned back, clearly joking. "I'll show you how to make one." *********** Ranma and Rei were both practicing katas when Grandpa walked in. Rei was going through a fairly simple one, while Ranma was bouncing around like a human pinball. He nearly landed on Grandpa's head. "Yo, oji- san." "There you are. There's a girl here to see you, Ranma." Ranma blinked, then thought a moment. "Naru?" Grandpa shook his head, "Her name is Tendo Kasumi." Ranma frowned. Probably here to announce we're getting married or something. "Umm...send her in, I guess." Kasumi soon arrived, clad in a blue gi, her hair gathered back in the same hairstyle as Ranma's, except that her braided pony-tail was longer. "You are Ranma Saotome of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts?" "Uh, yeah. Who the hell are you?" "I am Kasumi Tendo of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, the last heir of my line. I challenge you, Ranma Saotome, to a duel. The loser must run naked through the streets for five minutes." Rei said, "WHAT?" Grandpa said, "No offense, Miss Tendo, but I must root for Ranma. Don't take this as a comment on your excellent figure." "What kinda crazy duel condition is that? And I don't fight girls!" Her eyes narrowed. "So you're a coward like your father." Ranma's face darkened and his fists clenched. "Hell no! I am NOT a coward! I just don't fight girls!" Rei frowned. "And why is that?" "Cause it...it's not right! Guys shouldn't beat up girls!" "You're just making excuses because you're a coward." Kasumi turned. "I see your family is as dishonorable as I heard." "HEY! WE ARE NOT DISHONORABLE!" Ranma snarled. "You can't say things like that!" Kasumi turned back halfway, looking over her shoulder. "So you will accept my challenge?" "You wanna fight? Come and get me!" He was good, better than anyone Rei had ever seen before outside of movies. She'd never seen Kasumi fight, though. Ranma couldn't touch her, while she seemed able to poke him at will, although the blows never seemed to hurt him. Rei and Grandpa quickly fled onto the porch of the temple, although even that wasn't enough when a flying kick by Kasumi was dodged by Ranma and Kasumi went flying over Grandpa's head. "Good thing I'm short," Grandpa said. It soon became clear that Ranma didn't have a chance. Rei frowned. Something about Kasumi was giving her odd vibes. She'd met Ami's cousin before, but...she had been different. Her spiritual senses kept tickling at her. Maybe she's another senshi, Rei thought. I ought to ask Luna. When Kasumi charged back out, Ranma finally got a blow in on her, sweeping her feet, then jumping onto her stomach and holding a fist back, ready to hit her in the chin. "Yield?" "Nope." She brought her legs up, hooked Ranma's head and threw him. He crashed into a tree and collapsed, dazed. Soon, she was standing over him. "You gonna yield?" "Never." He sprang to his feet and leaped over her, trying to make it look like he missed, but planning a ricochet attack off a handy wall. While still in the air, however, he got hit by her doing a backflip and kicking him with her legs. He flew up high, then slammed down hard into the ground, going still. Rei ran over to him. "Ranma!" He didn't answer, although he was still breathing. She looked up at Kasumi and frowned. "Why the hell did you come over here and beat him up, anyway?" "His family has a VERY bad reputation. Many of the martial artists I've studied with have mentioned how much of a thief, cheat, and liar his father is." Kasumi loomed over Rei and Ranma. She was taller than both of them. "Yeah, but he makes a great fall guy," Grandpa said, then fell silent as they both looked suspiciously at him. "Sorry, having a flashback to a past life." "Well, Ranma is NOT a cheat and a liar," Rei said heatedly. "And if you've hurt him, I'm going to make you regret it." Her eyes flashed at Kasumi, who glared back. For a few seconds, they stood over Ranma, little sparks flying back and forth between them. "He is our guest." "Really. His father's robbed three temples, I hear." "They were evil temples," Grandpa said. "And they didn't have anything valuable, anyway. Not that didn't have to be destroyed because it had evil spirits in it." They both stared at him again, and he tried to shrink, but he was already at maximum compression. "Well, he hasn't robbed us, and how do you know you even have the right person?" Rei frowned. The Sacred Fire would NEVER have talked to someone who would rob a temple. And Ranma seemed like basically a nice guy. And cute. But that wasn't the important part right now. "There's only one Saotome family that practices Anything Goes. It's not a common style. And I could recognize it from the way he fought." Her frown relented slightly. "He's trained hard, I see. Not hard enough." "Get out of here." Rei said. "You proved your point or whatever. Now LEAVE." "I'm not leaving until he runs naked through the street." Kasumi folded her arms. "He is NOT going to run naked through the street like some kind of pervert!" Rei shouted. Ranma moaned and began to sit up. "I have to." "But it's stupid!" "I agreed to the challenge." Wearily, he sighed and stood up, rubbing various points on his body that were starting to bruise. "I never thought a girl would be the first one to beat me." He took off his shirt. "Someone else is gonna have to time this. I'm gonna be too busy running to keep track." Rei's eyes widened. "You...but you...you shouldn't! It's not right! People will talk!" "I gotta do it, Rei. I agreed to the terms of the challenge. Kasumi would have done it if I won," Ranma said quietly. "But maybe I should go somewhere else to start so no one notices a naked person running out of here." Rei said, "Uhh...yeah." ************ "Ugh," Ranma said as Rei put idodine on another cut. "I wish I'd known that I was going to run into the middle of that track team." He was a battered mess, swaddled in bandages, which were increasing in number as Rei doctored him. "And from my old school at that. It's gonna be all over that school by tomorrow morning." He would have sighed, but it would have hurt too much. Rei sighed. "I'm sorry about Ami's psycho cousin. You should have heard the lies she was telling about your family." "They probably weren't all lies. My old man's not too honorable. I dunno what he did to her, though. I've heard Pop tell stories about old man Tendo, and they were always great friends in the story. Maybe he and Pop had some falling out I never heard about." At least I won't be marrying HER, Ranma thought. Geez, what a total psycho tomboy. Probably just wanted to see me naked. "It still wasn't an excuse for what she did." Grandpa stuck his head in the door. "Anything ecchi happening?" "NO!" Rei shouted. "Too bad." He walked over to them. "How are you, Ranma?" "I think I'm gonna miss school tomorrow," Ranma said. "That Kasumi girl...she's good," he grudgingly admitted. "If she wasn't such a psycho tomboy, I'd get her to teach me." "And a pervert, making you run naked through the street." Rei frowned. "She seemed nice the other times I met her, but...And there's something...wrong about her." Ranma blinked. "Wrong?" "I sensed it as well," Grandpa said. "She may need an exorcism." I think that's his solution to everything, Ranma thought. Better than that Sensei Pop took me to who liked high colonics, though. "She sure fights like a demon." The door opened, and Naru walked in. "Ranma- sensei!" She ran over. "What happened?" "I lost a duel," Ranma said, giving Grandpa and Rei a meaningful look. Rei nodded. "It was quite a fight." "Then she made him run naked through the streets!" Grandpa announced. "And then he ran right into the middle of that track team and they thought he was going to molest them. I laughed so hard I nearly had a heart attack." Naru boggled. "Grandpa!" Rei and Ranma shouted in unison. Naru knelt down by Ranma. "I guess no lessons today?" "Just practice falling down." "Ranma certainly got to practice that today," Grandpa said. He then got to practice it himself after Rei threw the bottle of iodine at him, bouncing it off his head. "Are you gonna be okay?" Naru asked, her hands wandering around as if they had taken on a mind of their own. Perhaps she was trying to figure out where to put them. "I'll be fine," Ranma said. "I just hope none of them got a good look at me." ************ "You ain't gonna believe this," a boy named Kaji said to Haruka and Ukyou. The three of them were eating dinner together and arguing about their math homework. "I heard the track team..." Haruka nodded. "Yeah, we did. I'm on it." Ukyou looked over at Haruka. "You what?" "This naked guy attacked us. Turns out he used to go here." Haruka blinked. "Hey, this might be that guy you're looking for. Ranma Saotome, right?" Ukyou leapt to her feet. "Where is he?" She looked around, half expecting him to pop up and steal her math homework. How could you betray me like that, Ranma? You were my friend! I LOVED YOU! Damn you! "He got away. Somehow. We did quite a job on him," Haruka said. "Two women and a dwarf carried him off." "Was there a fat bald guy?" "The dwarf was fat and balding." It must be him, Ukyou thought. "Any idea at all where he went?" "Not a clue," Haruka said. "I'll keep an eye out, though." He smiled at Ukyou. "I'm sure the Track Team will be glad to help your quest." Ukyou felt a strange warmth when he smiled at her. Gods, he's cute, she thought, then repressed the thought. I'm supposed to be a boy. If I get a crush on my roomie...that would lead to disaster. "Thank you, Haruka." *********** "So, did Kasumi Tendo kick your butt yesterday?" Umino asked Ranma, first thing in the morning. Ranma frowned. "She never touched my butt with her foot." Most of the rest of his body, yes. The butt, no. Ami, who was seated nearby, frowned also. "She wouldn't tell me what happened." Naru turned around and saw Ranma. "You..." Running over, she picked up his hand and looked at it, then at his arms. "But...you were covered in bandages yesterday evening!" "I heal fast," Ranma said. "Part of my martial arts. And Kasumi and I weren't really going all out to kill or nothing." Well, maybe she wasn't, he thought. She was tough. *********** Rei sat and ate lunch and fumed. Who did that Tendo girl think she was? Coming into my temple and beating up my guest. And them humiliating Ranma like that. I'm going to go over to Ami's and give her a piece of my mind, she thought. Her food seemed a bit overcooked when she opened her bento, but she didn't really notice too much, as she had vengeance on her mind. Several other girls noticed the curls of smoke coming from it, however. ********** Ami answered the door. "Oh, hi, Rei-chan. Sailor business or pleasure?" "I'm here to give your cousin a piece of my mind." Rei's face was dark with anger. Ami had rarely seen her so mad. "She's...off training," Ami lied. Actually, Kasumi was upstairs, but Ami's house was so huge that even if she and Rei went to Ami's room, Rei and Kasumi wouldn't ever know the other one was present. "We should go hunting for Jadeite's next plan." Rei's eyes widened. "That's it. I bet that's what I sensed. I bet Jadeite's replaced her with a youma." Ami's eyes widened. "Kasumi? But...I mean...She hasn't poisoned me or anything and...uh...what makes you think that?" "I'm getting weird vibes from her." "You got weird vibes from me too." Ami frowned. "I think you're just mad because she beat Ranma in a fight." "Then she made him run naked through the street." Ami boggled. "No way." "Yes way. And he didn't even complain. Just acted like it was normal. I bet she wouldn't have done it if she lost." Rei's voice was getting louder. "I think I ought to let Sailor Mars teach her a lesson." "Rei, we're not supposed to use our powers for vengeance! Calm down!" Ami put a hand on Rei's shoulder. "Luna'll get mad." "Luna goes naked all the time! She wouldn't know what it's like!" Rei was starting to shake. "Dammit, she picked a fight by calling him a coward because he didn't want to fight her and then she humiliated him! I know what's it like, being made to run naked through the street!" Her eyes widened, and her fire dimmed. "It was awful." "What?" "When I was little, some of my cousins stole my clothing, then chased me outside, after I finished taking a bath. People saw me and laughed at me and..." A single tear ran down her face from her left eye. "And I'm gonna beat the hell out of her and make HER run naked through the street!" She shoved her way past Ami and sprinted up the stairs. "Come out here, you bitch!" Ami ran after Rei, but Rei was a lot faster. By the time she reached the top of the stairs, Rei was most of the way down the hallway and out of sight around the corner. Ami could hear the vacuum cleaner running. Kasumi usually would only vacum when she was frustrated; she claimed she could hear the dirt screaming. By the time Ami reached the corner, Rei came flying down the rest of the corridor, crashing into her chest. Kasumi ran after Rei. "I'm sorry, Ami, I didn't realize you were there!" She ran over to Ami, helping her up. Rei simply laid on the ground, frozen in the middle of a punch, as if she was some kind of action figure a child had laid aside. "Rei? Rei?" Ami asked her. "Rei, what's wrong?" "I used a paralysis point. She'll be fine in twenty minutes. Maybe she'll have calmed down by then." "What..." "She jumped me, shouting incoherently, so I subdued her." Kasumi sighed. "I'm going to go finish vacuuming now." "What..." "I want to finish this before Auntie gets home. She gets off work at eight, right?" Kasumi's face was smiling, but her eyes were cold. "Right." Ami dragged Rei off to her own room, then sat down to think about what to do. ********** Ranma was going through a kata when Rei stomped up the stairs and through the torii into the courtyard of the temple. He glanced over at her. "What's wrong?" "Nothing. Nothing at all." She stormed past him towards the living quarters. "I'm gonna cook dinner," she said with the sort of tone of voice normally used to say 'I'm going to hang you up with your own entrails'. "I already fixed it. Didn't know when you'd be back," Ranma said. "Grandpa and I saved some for you. It's in the fridge." She turned and smiled. "Thanks." "I don't like to cook. It's not a man's job, but I had to learn on the road." "Well, I'm a pretty decent cook. All Grandpa can cook is rice and pickled vegetables. And he makes good muffins." She started towards the kitchen again. "You practice every day?" "Yeah. That's why I'm good. Your pop showed me a new kata. I think he used to hang out with my old man. Told me some stories." "Your dad didn't really rob temples did he?" Rei asked hesitantly. "Not since I've been with him. Pop's too superstitious to do anything like that. Even if the kamis didn't curse him, he would think he was cursed." Ranma paused. "Then again, he is cursed, but still." Ranma wasn't enjoying this line of thought. "Did Kasumi tell you that?" "Yeah." "I think someone's been filling her head full of crazy stuff," Ranma said. "Pop's not great, but he's not a rampaging beast." Rei nodded. I thought so. Little beast; I'm gonna make her eat her words. *********** That night, Ranma slipped out to do a little investigating. He'd heard rumors at school about a monster attacking people at Ji park. A monster that looked either like a samurai or a small child. How could the same monster look like a child or a Samurai? The park was fairly empty except for a young couple making out on a bench. He paused to look at the girl; she was cute, very tall and strong looking with long hair in a pony-tail. But she was taken, so he moved on; they didn't look like either of them was likely to turn into a samurai, anyway. He was so busy looking for samurai he didn't notice the sprinklers kicking in until it was too late. Ranma- chan sighed and ran out of the sprinklers and headlong into Naru. "Eep! I'm sorry!" she said. "It was my fault, Naru-chan," Ranma-chan said, helping her up. "I should have looked where I was going." She blinked, looking at Ranma-chan. "Do I know you?" My curse, Ranma-chan thought. She doesn't know about it. "We...uh...we went to the same school a few years ago. We didn't know each other directly, but I knew who you were. I...uh...kinda thought it was neat your mother ran a jewelry store, but I was too...um..shy to really say hello." Geez, that sounds like a Pop lie, she thought. Maybe even more stupid. Naru stuck out her hand. "Well, nice to meet you! What's your name?" "Eiko," she said, panicked. "Like the anime?" Naru laughed. "I guess you're too old to be named after it, though." Ranma-chan nodded. "What brings you out here?" If she turns out to be the samurai, I'll scream, she thought. "I was just...thinking about this really cute boy I know." She blushed. "I just had this feeling like...like I'd find him here." She looked around and sighed. "I guess not." "The only guy here is making out with someone already," Ranma-chan said. "And I've heard rumors there was a...monster attack here. Let me walk you home." "I'm not afraid of any monsters," she said. He could tell she was bluffing. "I've been learning martial arts." Ranma-chan choked back the urge to laugh. Naru was a good student, but she wasn't ready to fight normal humans, let alone monsters. "I'll go with you anyway. It's on my way home." The monster will wait, she thought. I'd feel awful if one of my students got beaten up on the way home. Naru looked around again, then sighed. "Okay. I guess there's no reason he'd be wandering around this park at night, anyway." They walked across the park, taking a detour around the couple making out. "So who were you expecting to find here?" Ohh, maybe this guy she's got a crush on is the youma. No, that's silly; where would she have met a youma to get a crush on him? Ranma-chan shook her head. I'm reaching, she thought. Naru gulped. "Promise you won't tell anyone." "I promise." "His name is Ranma. He's really cute and strong and I just feel so safe around him." She smiled, her eyes twinkling. "And he's available. He's a really good martial artist." Ranma-chan didn't mind being praised, but now she wasn't sure what to say; she liked Naru, but not THAT much. Not to mention, she felt bad for not telling Naru about her curse now. But I can't tell her now; she'll get mad. But maybe I should tell her anyway. "So I hear." "You know him?" "All us great martial artists know each other," she said. "We had a duel at a tournament, once. He won, of course." Control, she thought. Don't lay it on too thick. A little girl ran up to them, crying. "Help me! My kitty ran up a tree!" She was wearing a cute yellow dress which ran down to her feet; it looked too big for her, really. She tugged on Ranma's legs. "Sure, we'll help," Naru said. "Where's your kitty?" The child lead them over to a tree; there was a cat up it. Ranma-chan, who had been tense, relaxed. He'd been afraid it was the youma. "I'll get your kitty." She quickly scrambled up the tree, then noticed a glow coming from the ground. Looking down, she saw a man in samurai armor made of opaque crystal plates, holding a sword over Naru's head. Energy was rising from her into the sword. Ranma-chan frowned. "You want a fight?" The man looked up; the child had vanished, probably run away. "Ahh, two people. Even better. You can't fight me, girl." "I ain't no girl!" Ranma-chan shouted, leaping out of the tree feet first. Her speed surprised the man; his sword went flying. Hurting him was another matter; the armor was tough and every blow made her knuckles bleed. She wasn't hurting him, although she was pretty sure she could outfit him; he wasn't too good unarmed. "Get out of here, Naru!" "I can't leave you here, Eiko!" she said, getting into a wobbly fighting stance. "Naru, what's this armor made of?" She looked at the armor, then at the sword. "The armor is low-grade diamonds, the sword is..." She gasped. "The blade is a one solid high quality diamond...it's...priceless." The man tried to lunge past Ranma-chan to get to his sword, but she simply "helped him along," putting some of her akido training to use. He went flying way past Naru and crashed into the bench where the couple was making out. The bench rolled over, but the couple didn't even notice. Ranma-chan turned to Naru. "Can you cut a diamond with a diamond?" She nodded. Ranma-chan ran over and took the sword. "Come and get me, Darth." When he put his hands together and fired a bolt of clear light at her, she instinctively dodged. "Come and fight me mano a mano like a man!" He nodded, concentrated, and another sword formed. Ranma-chan and Naru looked at each other. Naru said, "Time for Plan B." "Which is?" "Scream really loud until the Sailor Senshi save us." "I ain't screaming for help." She turned to the samurai. "Come and get me, old man!" He charged, sword held high. She simply dropped low and sidestepped, tripping him, then jumped onto his back and held the sword to his back. "Give it up." "Not bad. Next time, I'll be more careful. You can keep the sword; I'll be back for it." He faded away like a Star Trek transporter affect. "Wow! You beat him!" Naru said. "You're really good! I think you're better than Ranma!" Ranma-chan blushed, then looked at the sword. "Do you think you can put this somewhere you won't lose it and your mom won't find out?" She nodded. "Don't you want it?" "Not yet. And you can use it to defend yourself." Maybe, she thought. If I take it, Pop will hock it the second he gets back. Probably for a bowl of pickled vegetables. Naru nodded and took the sword. "Let's go." ********** "Hey, lazybones! Get up!" Ranma woke up groggily to the sight of Rei shaking him awake. "You've been asleep for twelve hours! It's not like you didn't get enough rest!" Only half of that was sleep, though, he thought. First I had to help Naru sneak into her house, then we hid the sword, then she talked me into giving her a lesson, and then...I got roped into helping her plan how to ask Ranma...me...out. I shoulda left when she brought that up or told her, but...I don't like people knowing about my curse. He mumbled something incoherent and sat up. "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." Breakfast was yummy; Rei was a decent cook, for which Ranma was glad. He stuffed himself as fast as he could, while she frowned at him. "Ami will be here any minute." "Ain't you gonna eat?" "I already ate," she said, then noticed a bruise on his arm. "What happened?" "I beat up one of those monsters that goes around stealing people's energy," he said. "It attacked Naru last night." "But when we got to...you BEAT it?" He nodded, continuing to engulf the food like a sea serpent attacking a boat. "He got away, but I made him run. And got his sword. It's hidden at Naru's house so Pop can't find it and hock it." "..." "She doesn't know it was me; she thinks a girl named 'Eiko' did it. I know, I know, I should have told her. I just...couldn't do it." He frowned. She nodded. "I understand. Your curse embarrasses you. You aren't gonna be able to hide it forever, though." "I know. When the time comes, I'll tell her. Just not yet." "What are you gonna do about Kasumi?" "Ignore her. I ain't the vengeful type, and I don't fight girls." Although having lost to her galled him, he couldn't think of any good way to get back at her that didn't go against his honor. That track team, on the other hand, was dead meat the next time he met them. I have no qualms about either, Rei thought. I'll get your revenge for you. Arrogant bitch. I'll crush her. ********** "You lost to a MORTAL?" Jadeite bellowed. "She must have been a Senshi in disguise. No normal human could move so fast. I would have had Turquoise attack her, but I was trying to keep her hidden so she could attack the Senshi when they showed up." Jadeite nodded. I should kill him for failing...yet...he lived. All my other youma died the first time they messed up; the senshi never let anyone get away. Yes, I should give Diamond another chance. Best not to anger Tourmaline unnecessarily, anyway. "Resume the plan. Next time, you will draw out the Senshi. And crush them. I have faith in you." Not.